One year ago, I stopped publishing my blog because my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer – it was almost one year ago to the day. Since then, my wife has gone through surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation, all while being pregnant. And in September, she gave birth to our beautiful baby boy, Jonathan! See requisite cute picture below – look, we have the same hair!
And finally…it’s all over. Well, as over as cancer ever can be. The treatments are done, Carol is doing beautifully, our baby is healthy and almost sleeping through the night. I think we have finally passed through the darkest and most difficult season of our lives thus far. And now I find myself a little lost, not knowing what to do with myself, and struggling to regain a sense of what life was like before cancer, that sense of normalcy. It was only a year ago, but it feels like a lot longer than that.
But you know…normalcy is terribly overrated. I don’t really have any aspirations to lead a normal life, if “normal” means complacent, self-centered, whiny, and listless, which is how I would have described my life (and me) before all of this took place. I think returning to “normal” connotes that nothing has changed, that everything is the same as before, when that is entirely untrue. Everything has changed. I am far more sober about life, wiser, more aware of how chaotic life is. I can truly sympathize because after a life of stifling privilege and selfishness, I have suffered. And more than ever before, I love my wife and family – not because I will always have them forever…but because I will not. If normalcy means forgetting these incredible lessons, then forget normalcy.
And so that is what this blog is devoted to. Previously it was a devotional resource for those who wanted a companion through Scripture, and at times I will use it to that end, and those entries are still stored on site for those who are interested. But more than that, it is a journal of my life in word and song and picture, and my attempt to share it with the ones I love and with anyone who might be encouraged and blessed by it. It is a celebration of post-normal life.
If you appreciate what I share, then leave a comment and I will post it and be your best friend forever. If you don’t like what I have to say, feel free to also leave a comment which I will promptly delete. And although I am a pastor, this is not connected to my church or to my ministry, not directly at least – these are my own thoughts and experiences.
So stay tuned, more to come!